We are who we are

Its so hard to believe I honestly made it this far in my life. So many uphill battles, so many obstacles. Living a normal life really never seemed to possible but I always tried making the best of it even though that sure made me slack at times on my medicines. People tell me a lot that they couldn't be as strong as I am but If you asked me a couple years ago I don't think I would be able to say I would be able to. But we all need to be strong when times call for it. I have been more then lucky to have amazing friends and family to give me a lot of the strength I have and to keep me positive and push me. My story is similar to many others though. I was only a few months old when I was diagnosed and at times it was hard being small and spending weeks in the hospital 2 hours away from my family and as I got older it got worst. When my dad and mom switched off to stay with me I would cry my eyes out seeing one of them leaving me. I formed strong bonds with my parents when I was little and spending so much time in the hospital. I also made many friends but some were worst then me and didn't make it. Soon hospitals started finding out about cross contamination between CF patients and that they shouldn't be enclosed in places together. As I have grown I have had times were I shouldn't of made it but with the strength my family and friends had and gave me I seem to fight through. Hospital stays were frequent through my high school years being ever 3 months and I was back in needing IV antibiotics and be on those for several weeks which made me miss out on many activities with either my school or friends, this led me into a depression and a serious one, but yet again my family and friends stepped up and helped me through rough times. I now can say I'm doing a lot better mentally and health wise. In a couple weeks I will be 21 years old and what a mile stone in such a long hard fought battle so far for all my friends and family. I will never give up the fight and I will always do my best to help others fight a hard fight. No disease is worst then another because no one should suffer but things like this make people like me stronger and more appreciative of what I have in my life. Don't ever give up hope, don't ever stop fighting.

What I would give.

I wish for just a minuet the world could just stop and I could really just take in the past 20 years of my life. I have had a great upbringing by wonderful parents. I have had my shares of doing wrong and right learning from mistakes, from hurting others to getting hurt and from seeing good and bad from personal situations and also throughout the world as a whole. 20 years I have learned so much from so many and It makes me realize how fast the years are really going. I want to just remember the times when I was young with no worries to the first time I stepped into Pre K and met other kids I will know and bond with through the next 8 years of my life who made a huge impact in my life as well. I want to remember my 8th grade year where my bond with classmates were as strong as ever as we graduated. I want to relive me first day of high school and how it was a whole new world and experience with meeting so many new great people who later will become a huge part of your life. I want to relive all the pride weeks and all the moments with close friends. These are the times I feel so lucky to have been able to do all the these things and to have met the people I have. I now look into my future and I'm confused as to where I will be in my life or what I will be doing. But I do know I make my own destiny and I can make a successful future maybe not by having all the money in the world but by being happy. But I am in the present and I'm confused about what direction to take my life but I know that the strength of my heart and a strong mindset I will be where I want to be. These are the years we live to look at our life from the past to the future but with every negative thing you always need to look at the positive and still the pictures of your greatest times in your heart and mind to never be replaced or stolen because years from now when you look back and think of those times all the positive things in life will out weigh the negative.

Awhile

Well it's been awhile since I have posted on here, so I figured I would tonight. To start off I can't sleep mainly because I have so many things running through my head. I finished my first year of college and well It made me miss high school. I miss just knowing everyone and just having that connection with teachers that you have had for four years. Change gets harder as you get older and while I see people say they just want to be done with high school or wish they could just be older I must say don't wish these things to happen so quickly you will miss it. Getting older means more responsibility. Another thing that has been floating around in my mind is how things are just that much more difficult for people with chronic illnesses. You find school to get harder while trying to balance doing medicines 2 or 3 times a day and also managing work everyday and also trying to find a bit of social time with that and for some people a relationship, that's a lot of stuff for anyone. but ill just have to adapt to these changes and start doing what I need to do. I keep wanting to move out but I then realize how hard that's going to be right now with only a part time job, but that independence that you gain makes you feel better, specially when you have so little due to having a disease that restricts you so much. Having any disease is like a having a chain ball on you're an ankle. On a brighter note I'm also starting to realize how great my friends and family are. I truly have such a big appreciation for them and all they have done for me. This getting old deal is tiring but it also makes you look at things in a whole new outlook. Change is inevitable, just need to flow with it. And maturity helps you really find out who you are. Remember everyone we all have a little kid in us still don't forget to let it out once in awhile and really enjoy moments in you're life. And no matter where life takes you as you grow keep you're dreams alive.