An open mind.

I'm starting this blog off with a question, the question is Do you ever wish you could go back in the past and maybe do something different? I know many of you will say yes, and I also would probably agree with you. We find that life is not fair sometimes but on the other hand we have so many thing's we are thankful for like a house and food and good friends and family that usually always support us even if we make a msitake big or small. We all wish that thing's could always go right for us and that we never miss the chances we had to take, but also try and rememeber if it weren't for time's such as those we would never learn to live in every moment we have. It's a lesson everytime and we will always have a new lesson to learn throught out live no matter how young or old you are. Another question I have is what do you live for everyday? When you look and ask yourself why does something have to happen to you or why I'm I here for? I strongly believe we all have purpose and you might not find out what that purpose is until you're very last day on earth but there is a reason for us all. My man idea always for everyone is to live with an open mind and a healthy heart. Learn to forgive and love and try and have peace. Live in every moment you have the oppertuinity, because don't forget we ALL only have one shot at this life, so let's really make it worth living.

Open your eyes

All of you who has been said you can't succeed your dreams, don't listen. You are who you are, and you have a purpose in this world, either small or big there is a reason your walking on this earth. Be determined show everyone you make your destiny, you make your future and pave your path of success and happiness. Life is far from easy for anyone, no one is perfect and we all fall at some point, but it's the determination you need to have to get back up but stronger. I can not guarantee anything but i can tell you that if you do what you know is best you will live the best life you can live. You will struggle at times you will want to give up, but you need to look towards the now and not the then part of life. Live for every moment, because not only could it be your last but we do live only one life that will eventually end, but in the end you would want to look back knowing you never missed out on something that could change your life for the best without you even expecting or knowing it. Live to love live to have fun live to laugh and live to cry. We are all human, we all have feeling's we all want to be happy.

Understanding

I always think why can't people understand the thing's I go through, not for the reason I want their sympathy but for them to understand I do go through a lot and that maybe I look healthy on the outside, that inside there is a war going on in my body. It's hard for me to explain to people how thing's are for me and for them to really understand. I know many of my friends try to understand but even though they will tell me they do, I know they don't and I'm starting to accept that it is okay they don't understand. What really matters is that they are there for me and support me in the battle I will have all my life, they accept that i am different as much as I wish i wasn't. As anyone with a disease I do sometimes get frustrated with some people not being able to understand how my life is, but I learn and will keep on learning to deal with that they won't understand unless they are living the life I do. It's easier and more helpful if you can try and talk to someone with the same problem as you though, even if you really don't like talking about thing's you will find talking to someone who is experiencing something like you are it will put thing's in a better aspect for you, you don't even have to talk about your disease just talking about anything is better then nothing. I talked to my good friend Josh Morgan, and I have never felt more comfortable talking to someone and we didn't just talk about hospital stays and visits we talked about all sorts of stuff and that in general made me feel a lot better. I urge all CFer's to try and talk to a fellow CFer. You will find it will make thing's better and life easier knowing there are people you can talk to and know they will understand what you go through. You should never bottle thing's up no matter who you are and if you even need help don't be afraid cause I do assure you talking to someone parents, a friend, or even a therapist will make life so much better and easier for you, It doesn't make you a coward it makes you stronger, stronger in accepting you need to talk and make your life better.

A cloudy day.

Today has been a real rainy and grey day, kind of bring's my mood down. I feel like day's such as these i find myself thinking more then usual about my life and where it's headed and the challanges I faced and still do face, they can sometimes bring me down, I also find my self wondering why do I need to go through so much stuff to keep myself healthy and alive when my friend's just need to eat right and excerise and they will be in tip top shape. With these thoughts I also find myself relizing that there is nothing I can do no matter how much i can complain and cry about it, it won't change the life that has been givin to me. When I have the thoughts I do, I also think about how many people care about me and how I can make a difference through my strength of acceptence. I believe that many people need to come to relize no matter who you are that life should be precious to us all, I have been in situations where I truely that it would be my last, and with that I have loved the life I live more and more each day. Everyday for anybody could be their last, which is why we all need to wake up and really grasp that you are here another day, and that is a gift, no matter the life you live you will have up's and down's but be happy you can live through those up's and down's, and be thankful to be able to walk outside and see the true beauty of nature. I live my life to help other because that is what i believe life should be like, helping other's that don't have the oppertunites we do and help them be just as thankful for being alive. Having Cystic Fibrosis I truely believe is small bump in my long life I have ahead of me and I will define the odd's and live past expectation, and i will do that also with a kind heart of careing for other's.

Today is a new day!

Doing home Intervenous antibiotics (IV's) has really been taking it's toll. My father went on Vacation with his fianace, even though he didn't want to go because he was worried about me doing my morning IV treatments on my own for the first time, But i assured him i would be okay and he left Tuesday until Thursday which well is today. It was hard waking up at 7 in the A.M. everyday to do them but i learned i need to grow up, as you get older with a disease such as Cystic Fibrosis (CF) you learn that responseabilty will be a big part of your life and how you deal with your disease, the feeling of accomplishment is greatest feeling. I will admit i lose that sense of focus specially around summer time when you feel most free from reality where you can do what you would like, but in all reality it's the same no matter what season is your health is your health and you need to stay as focused as you can on doing your medications, and you will be healthier for a longer period of time. I must say i did go astray this summer and was not so good on my medications but i payed the price by getting sick and needing to go in the hospital, now i'm stuck on home IV's which takes up some of my day that i could be enjoying if i didn't slack in the first place. Remember doing your medications will make your life easier and you will learn it really beats taking a little bit out of your day to stay healthy for months or even years.